Story about Pressure Washers and Turnips

Pressure washers are valuable tools. They let anyone scrub down nearly anything with ease and comfort. From decks and patios to siding and roofs, power washers make routine home maintenance easier, faster, and more efficient. That is, of course, provided you know how to property use one. Sadly, if you don’t know how to use one properly, they can lead to embarrassment and disaster.

My grandfather was a fan of power washers. He always seems to have a few laying around. And boy, did he use them. From blasting of old paint to scrubbing down the outdoor deck, my grandfather used his various power washers to great effect.

I remember one summer when I was thirteen. My grandfather had just ordered a new gas operated power washer based on a review from This was an absolute beast of a power washer. It was industrial grade, it was made, basically, to wash down heavy industrial equipment at the end of a manufacturing run. My grandfather had gotten the washer to power wash his deck. In addition to power washing the deck he intended to use the power washer’s sheer power to strip the stain off of the deck and to render the deck down to bare wood in preparation to restraining and weatherizing. All in all, it was sure to bee a good time.

Now, a little about my grandfather. He had a fairly large piece of property and liked to spend his time working in the yard beautifying his house and gardening. That particular summer he had planted a crop of turnips in with the usual vegetables he always grew. The turnips were just coming up, the lush and green shoots above ground were spreading out, rising up amongst the usual tomato plants, peppers, and cucumbers.

This is when I decided that I was going to water the garden. Naturally, why would I use the hose when there was a boas powered power washer close at hand? I mean, really, who would use a hose when there was a power washer available? So I wheeled the power washer out of the garage and hooked the hose up to it.

Not that I knew I was doing anything wrong or potentially destructive. No, I just assumed I should conceal my activities because I wanted to impress everyone with what I’d figured out. I just knew, as any thirteen year old knows, that watering the garden with the gas powered power washer was not only a brilliant idea but a good use of my time. I would amaze everyone with my killer idea.

So, once the hose was hooked up and once I was shielded from the adults I turned on the power washer. Now, when you’re thirteen, engines and pull cords and loud noises are like candy. The more there is the happier you are. Such was the case with the gas powered power washer. As the roar of the single stroke engine sang out and as I felt the vibrations from the engine running through my hands I smiled. This was it, my chance to impress anyone.

Luckily, for the rest of the garden, the row of planted turnips was the southernmost row of the garden. I took the nozzle in my hand and, with the roar of the engine in my ears, depressed the activator. Now, the high powered jet of water that shot out wasted no time in digging a furrow through the grass. But, since I was pointing the nozzle at the grass, I figured that I was just too close to the grass rather than actually having way too much power at my disposal for the job I intended to complete.

Needless to say, once I applied the power washer to the row of turnips there were no more turnips, just a low trench in the dirt where the turnips had been.

As a result of my adventure with the power washer there were no turnips come that fall. More importantly, however, there was a classic family story that continues to entertain to this day.